he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
