I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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