isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
