grandma shit on top of the toilet
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
