Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Randomize
