i permit you to call me
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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