Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
