Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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