The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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