just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
