It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
