I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
