he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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