I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize
