Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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