I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
