I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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