Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
