I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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