I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
