Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
