Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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