I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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