so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
