I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
