Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
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