Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
