I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
