i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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