and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize