Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I have feelings that need drinking.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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