Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
