Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
