Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
