dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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