Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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