It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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