Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
