so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
