I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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