pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
