..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Randomize