Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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