It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
