I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
