you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize