her vagine was all disorganized.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
honey bunches of taint.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
