Say something about gay babies.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
