So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
