My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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