I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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