:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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