That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
