even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
