We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize