i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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