Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
